


Of Broken Promises, and Unkept Words

by yawnwonu



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Break Up- Make Up, Happy Ending, Light Angst, maybe a bit fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-06
Updated: 2020-11-06
Packaged: 2021-03-09 01:48:51
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,207
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27416791
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yawnwonu/pseuds/yawnwonu
Summary: Where every time a promise fails, a heart breaks, until it can't hold on anymore.
Relationships: Kwon Soonyoung | Hoshi/Lee Jihoon | Woozi
Comments: 2
Kudos: 20





	Of Broken Promises, and Unkept Words

**Author's Note:**

> Hi~~~ yes, I haven't updated my 9.8m/s2 fic but here I am, like the procrastinator that I am. Enjoy! ٩(˘◡˘)۶
> 
> \- unbeta-ed

"Hoonie!! Can we have a dinner date later? I missed being with you" Soonyoung said in pouts, that one which he knew his boyfriend is weak of- he's that desperate.

"Oh no Youngie, I'm really busy right now. my deadline for this chapter is next week and I'm not even half-way through it" Jihoon said, currently having a stare-off with his laptop in hopes that his chapter will magically write itself.

"But you're not even writing! can't we go out for a little while?" He didnt mean to sound mad, but it had been a while since they enjoyed each other's company.

"Upon noticing the trace of annoyance from his boyfriend's voice, Jihoon sighed, "Youngie, I want you to understand, this is my shot. You know how much I have wanted this FOR YEARS!" he tried to remind the other, specifically highlighting 'for years'.

"I know! but why do I feel like I don't have a boyfriend anymore Ji?" his voice had an accusing tone, his brows are furrowed, a sign that he getting extremely irritated, and hurt.

“But I have been ‘only’ your boyfriend for 3 years.. can’t I do this for myself?” Jihoon answered, he too, is hurt. He had wanted to be a writer since he was a child. But the world had been cruel that he had to pursue an office job so he can earn, forgetting his dream and passion, to support his family- to support his boyfriend’s dreams. And Soonyoung witnessed those years.. why can’t he understand?

“You know how much I wanted this, can you please support me this time? This is the only thing I ask of you..” Jihoon continued, voice laden with defeat, his eyes starting to water from the frustration that his boyfriend docent seem to support him, when he need him the most.

Soonyoung felt bad, extremely bad for being such a brat. Jihoon has supported his dreams, had been there for him when his colors became dull from hitting a wall, held his hand when he finally had his first exhibit, witnessed his struggle when he started his life as an artist. He should have known how hard it is to pursue this career. But he chose to be selfish- and a brat.

“I’m sorry Ji, I didn’t mean to. I just missed you a lot and I realized its very selfish of me to act like this. I’m sorry” he said, he can’t even look the other on the eyes because of how ashamed he was.

“Look at me, I missed you too, dearly. Our coffee dates? Our early morning walks on the park? Your messy eating during our dinner dates? I miss it all I swear. And we can do all of that once I’m done. I PROMISE. We’ll do everything again together, just like before.” He smiled as he reached for his boyfriend’s face too plant a kiss on his forehead.

“A promise should be sealed with an I love you, Hoonie” he smiled cheekily.

Jihoon chuckled at his boyfriend’s shenanigans but complied nonetheless.

“I love you” he looked at the other’s eyes lovingly and sneakily planted a kiss on the other’s lips- _his_ _favorite_.

He could feel Soonyoung’s smile through the kiss, which gave him the happy feelings inside, _Seems like the Soonyoung Effect have not dulled one bit_ , Jihoon thought fondly.

“I love you too, my Hoonie”

-

But the week quickly passed but no dates has been done, no walks in the park either. Just a text message that rained on Soonyoung's happy mood.

**Soonyoung's Jihoonie**

_Hey love, sorry can't make it to dinner tonight. My editor said I should send another chapter and he only gave me 2 weeks!!! IMAGINE!! 2 WEEKS!? im gonna cry im frustrated :((((_

_dont cry babe, I know you can do it. I love you okay? Let's set the date after this chapter then?_

**Soonyoung's Jihoonie**

_Thank you Youngie.. I'm really sorry about this, but I'll make it up to you. after this, I promise._

Soonyoung dropped his phone and looked on the full-length mirror he had been staring at for the past 1 hour. 

He had his hair slicked back, he had worn his favorite suit (Jihoon’s favorite!), and he had been spraying his perfume over and over again every 5 minutes cos Jihoon loves guys who smells good. 

He sighed, he can’t feel bad right now.. he should be understanding because Jihoon had been patient with him when he was on the same situation. Realising what he had to do, he quickly picked his phone up to type a message.

_You can do it babe! With the power of my love, you'll finish that chapter in a jiffy! ᕙ(`▿´)ᕗ_

**Soonyoung's Jihoonie**

_I appreciate you a lot Youngie, I love you!_

Soonyoung smiled, he really loves the guy. After all, absence makes the heart grow fonder right?

**It doesn’t. It actually doesn’t.**

Jihoon decided that he had to stay behind closed doors for the following days, he said seclusion would help him finish the chapter if he had solitude, and silence for himself and he did! He was able to finish his chapter for less than 2 weeks but his editor said to continue his pace and Jihoon didnt even say no to that, and just agreed. 

They havent seen each other, and Soonyoung would've been content with text messages but even that had been seldom. And the text messages aren’t even making Soonyoung’s heart flutter, instead, it broke him little by little. 

**Soonyoung's Jihoonie**

_Hey Youngie!! oh my god! i'm so sorry to cancel this date for the 2nd time.._

_I_ _feel really bad, I hope you aren’t sad!_

_I'll kiss you a lot once I'm done with this I promise!_

He chuckled when he received the text, the other seemed flustered, he must look frazzled right now. So Soonyoung sent him a message saying its okay. Soonyoung understands. 

**Soonyoung's Jihoonie**

_Youngie, my brain is working in its best right now. I_

_'m so happy like, I feel this chapter would be over in a blink!! 🤩_

_Sorry I can't go with you to the park. Let's do it tomorrow? I Love you! 🥺_

Soonyoung felt happy, Jihoon sounded giddy at the fact that the ideas are flowing inside his brain right now. Walks in the park can wait, tomorrow is just a few hours anyway. They'll finally see each other.

But tomorrow turned into next week, and next week's promise became a dinner instead.

**Soonyoung's Jihoonie**

_Hey, cant make it to the dinner, lets reschedule? luv u_

But dinner also got cancelled, and Soonyoung could feel the heaviness in his chest drilling into him, telling him he should start to be mad now. But he cant, he wanted to be supportive, and being selfish isn’t the support his boyfriend needs. 

**Soonyoung's Jihoonie**

_Sorry cant make it next week, I'll make it up to you, I promise!!_

Soonyoung stared at his phone, another promise bound to be broken, he cant even find it in himself to be excited about it. He just know next week isn’t going to happen, but his heart hoped it would.

**Soonyoung's Jihoonie**

_Babe, wont be able to text, book's halfway done, need 2 focus_

That's the message that made him cry, the only communication they have for the past 2 months is through text, but his boyfriend doesn’t even have the time to give it to him. He's worried, is his boyfriend still eating? Is he getting enough vitamin D or had he not been graced by the sunlight for the past 2 months? Is he drinking enough water? Is he still sleeping? _am i still his boyfriend_?

Sonyoung choked a sob at the last string of thought that flashed on his brain. That night he slept curled up in a ball with a phone on his hand and his boyfriend's hoodie clutched tightly on his chest. 

**Soonyoung's Jihoonie**

_Sorry I can't-_

That's it. He couldn’t bear to read the whole message as he knows it would contain a broken promise, and another promise that would again be broken by another text message and a bland apology.

He grabbed his car key and stormed out of his apartment. He needs to see his boyfriend now or he'll lose it.

He arrived at his boyfriend's door, how long has it been since he last visited? The place felt unfamiliar now, like he shouldn't even be here. He rang the bell, even though he knows the passcode, he doesn't want to barge inside like the uninvited guest that he is. 

It took him 3 times of pressing the bell until the door sprang open, revealing his boyfriend he had not seen for months, he looked.. sleep-deprived, and tired. But Soonyoung is tired too.. 

“Ji…” he said, not knowing what words to utter infront of his boyfriend.

"Hey Youngie, what are you doing here?" The other said, his dry lips are noticeable and Soonyoung couldn't help but wince at how painful those would be once they start to become tear.

"We've not seen each other for 2 months Ji.. 2 months" his voice must've sounded bitter right now, he knows, because he could almost taste it as it left his mouth.

"I know babe, and I'm sorry" Jihoon said, his tired eyes now clouded with guilt.

But Soonyoung is tired of apologies, he had enough of it in the form of messages for the past months that it flared his anger upon hearing it in person. 

"No Jihoon! stop apologizing! stop fucking apologizing! I'm so tired of your apologies!" He half-shouted, his anger slipping through even when he tried to hold it in. 

"You know how much this means to me right?" the other pleaded.

"Then what am I? do I not mean much to you anymore?" His voice cracked, his eyes felt hot and tears are starting to swell. 

"No, no.. no Youngie.. I love you so much please. I'm just- I need to do this.. I thought you understand" Jihoon looked shaken, as if he hadn’t had the time to process everything that's happening infront of him.

"I do! I understand! my brain does Ji.. but my heart? it's sick, it's broken from all the promises you never mean to keep!" he accused, pushing the other's chest with his point finger.

"I'm sorry Youngie, I'm really sorry, I missed you, a lot. But this? this is something that I had been dreaming for so long Soonyoung, and having it in my hands? I cant let my dream slip away" He said, grabbing Soonyoung’s hands in attempt to somewhat make him understand.

"You held your dream so tight Ji, but I hope you realize it is me who's slipping away from your grasp" he said, tears running on his cheeks like a marathon, removing his hands from the other's grasp.

"No, Soonyoungie please, I am very tired right now.. can we, cool down and talk tomorrow?" Jihoon said, again, snatching his hands to hold it.

"Then what? Bail on me again on the last minute? Ji, I cant even trust your words anymore.. maybe we should-" he said in almost whisper..

"No! no Youngie, please don’t. please. I know I had my shortcomings as your boyfriend, but please.. please don’t” Jihoon enclosed him in a hug, and he could feel the wetness on his shirt as the other cried his heart out.

“Jihoon I'm tired.. I just want this to be over.. please, let's just end this yeah?" he said on the other's ear as he returned the hug, a little bit tighter. 

"But you promised Youngie, you promised you will never leave me" Jihoon sobbed on his shoulder, which also made Soonyoung break into an uncontrollable cry.

"I did.... but maybe, promises are really made to be broken" he answered as he slowly peeled his body from the other.

-

That was the last time he saw Jihoon, it had been almost a year since he left his ex's doorstep with tears in his eyes and a broken heart. Sometimes he could still hear the sound of Jihoon’s sobs at the back of his head, and perhaps it was guilt. Guilt of not being able to be the best boyfriend Jihoon thought Soonyoung was.

He knew the book Jihoon had been working was already published, but he never had the courage to purchase one.Maybe he's blaming that book for the fall out that had happened between him and Jihoon, but he knew better. It was him, it was him that broke off their relationship.

That was until the same book arrived infront of his doorstep today. It came as a parcel from his bestfriend, Jeon Wonwoo who had seen him at his worst, that is- everyday. 

The dreams of his ex boyfriend felt heavy on his hands, he doesn’t know if he wants to read it or send it back to his bestfriend. But, he wanted to know, he wanted to see Jihoon’s hard-work so he peeled the covers and started to open the book.

His eyes automatically burst into tears as soon as he saw the dedication page which read:

_To my love, to the light of my life, Kwon Soonyoung. Thank you for inspiring me to finally reach my dreams, thank you for holding my hand every time I try to give up, thank you for the love that nurtured me to be a better version of myself. This book, my masterpiece, it belongs to you, as you were the driving force that made this happen. Thank you for never leaving, I love you._

"No no no, Jihoonie I'm so sorry, I'm sorry for leaving you.. I love you too" he said out loud as tears fell on the page opened on his lap.

He just sat there, unmoving.. his tears seemed endless as his brain took him back to the days that broke their relationship, he knew he regretted it as soon as he got home that day.. but he didn’t do anything about it. His fears had gotten the best of him- the fear of being neglected again, of being forgotten.

He was hurt, so as Jihoon who had to choose between two of the most important things in his life during that moment, and Soonyoung made the mistake of not thinking things through, and letting his pain and maybe his selfishness get the better of him.

When he was able to calm down, and stop himself from crying, he looked at his watch, it's 8am. He gawked infront of his watch for a whole minute, a thought struck him like a lightning bolt, then he grabbed his keys and immediately head out.

 _If he's there.. I have to make this right._ he prayed that the other is.

-

"Hey," he said while panting, the other is sitting on their favourite bench, in their favourite park. This is the place they would often have their walks in the mornings, sharing bright smiles that would start their day happily.

Jihoon turned his head towards him with a bright smile painting his beautiful face, he looked radiant, like a year ago had been a distant past that never occurred.

"Took you long enough" Jihoon said, a light chuckle escaping his lips.

Soonyoung’s heart would burst right there, he was overwhelmed, _he had been waiting for me_ his eyes started to water as he smiled, a smile encompassing all the complex feelings clouding his whole being right now.

"I .. didn’t had the courage to read it you know.." He answered softly.

“I come here everyday since the book was published… I knew you’ll find me here. Just didn’t realize it’ll take you this long, thought you’ll be the first one to buy my book. Since you said you’re my number one fan” Jihoon explain, his tone was laden with jest, and his hearty laugh fill Soonyoung’s ears. The atmosphere lighten up the mood, just like how they had always been.

“But, the dedication…?” Soonyoung voiced out his wonder.

"Well, the dedication page had long been decided, its the first thing I wrote when my draft was approved. I, even when we broke up, I didn’t want to change it"

Jihoon answered, his eyes set somewhere in a distance as if reminiscing their past.

"I …. I don’t think I deserve it Ji..” he sniffed, his eyes that still had traces of tears from crying earlier were watery again, threatening to spill.

But Jihoon only chuckled at his answer, "Of course you don’t, but what of it? I don’t even deserve to have you back then, but you were there."

"The situation was different, your family was having a hard time, i wasnt.. i had to be there for you"

"But you were also having a hard time.. I watched you mix and match colors in frustration, but didn’t even know how to help nor support you because i was busy with my family. But you got through it. I was very proud of you, you know"

Jihoon smiled fondly, and Soonyoung did too.

“But you gave me your presence Ji… all throughout that time, hhen when I was in your position all I did was break off with you" he smiled sadly, regret evident on his face.

"We have different ways of handling a situation, yes we could've handled it better. And it was my fault too" The other said, eyes misty as he stared at him.

“Soonyoung, Youngie.. My Soonyoungie, I'm sorry for neglecting you back then, sorry for all the promises I was never able to keep. Sorry for all the nights you had to sleep without having a dinner with me, sorry for all the apologies I had sent over and over again.. I'm sorry for coming back into your life through the book that had caused you so much pain. I'm sorry that even after all this time you're still the home I want to return to. And sorry because right now I'm about to ask you,will you please take me back? I promise to be better this time“Jihoon held his hand tightly, both of them are crying under the morning's sun. Soonyoung pressed the hands that was holding his. His throat is dry from crying too much.

"My promise Ji, will it count as never been broken if my heart never stopped loving you? I physically left but my heart didn’t. It had always been yours" Jihoon smiled, they might've broke each other's hearts but he knew, that their love would still bind all the pieces together to start anew.

"Hey, want to start the next chapter of our lives with me?" Jihoon asked with a smile on his face.

"Only if you promise to never leave and seal it with an I love you" Soonyoung answered, joy totally excludes from his body which made Jihoon feel giddy too.

"I promise to never leave, I love you. And promises should be sealed with a kiss you know" he winked and grabbed Soonyoung’s cheeks with both of his hands which made the other laugh, as Jihoon peppers him with feathery light kisses on his lips.

He softly rubbed the hands on his cheeks and stared directly into Jihoon’s eyes, "Hey Hoonie, I love you too."


End file.
